Adam and I spend Saturday mornings drinking coffee and talking about relationships. I’ll usually have a topic in mind from someone I’m coaching and he is the best at giving a male perspective and alternative viewpoints. I share this because I think regardless of where you are in your relationships, this kind of material is something that you can relate to. I believe wholeheartedly that when you know better, you do better. I also believe that if you always do what you’ve always done, you will remain locked into the same dance in relationships for the rest of your life. Who wants that?
So, here we are. I think I’m going to try and post about some of these topics as a way to get some relationship content out there and educate my followers on some of the things that healed me and freed me from a life of “should.”
So a long time ago, I was living for acceptance. I made every decision based on what I thought I “should” do and as a result, I lost my true identity and became completely disingenuous. Have you ever felt like you have spent so much time pleasing others that you have no idea who you really are? I think that’s a normal phase of life and completely “ok” by the way. But, as I stated, when you know better, you do better. Here is how I healed.
I remember when I started to journal and how much of an impact it made on my growth. When you put your pen to paper and let your inner thoughts travel straight from your head to your hand, the product is incredible. It’s unfiltered, raw and completely transparent. I found that in journaling, I was healing. I was seeing exactly what my core desired feelings were and I was able to recognize how I neglected myself in an effort to be a people pleaser.
Adam and I talked this morning about the process of journaling and how we both used that as an outlet to heal. What is so mind blowing to me is how so many people are going through the exact same dances. We are all experiencing similar challenges, but doing nothing about it. Maybe you’re feeling like you’re failing as a parent. Maybe you are unhappy in your marriage but you have no idea how to find the core of the problem. You may even feel like you are trapped in a body that you refuse to own, but you have nowhere to start in the journey of releasing extra weight or accepting yourself. Does this sound like you?
My advice to you is to spend a few minutes each day writing. Get a piece of paper and a pen, sit down somewhere quiet and get it done. Write a paragraph, a few sentences, a statement or even a page. Write down bullet points of what things in your life feel out of control or write about your dreams and goals. When you get your feelings on paper, you’re able to reflect and heal. You’re able to see what is holding you back and then develop an action plan to care for yourself. After all, you are the one who has to live in your body for the rest of your life. Don’t you wonder if one small change could change everything?